Dec 8, 2010

Love is never one: Part 1

Merhaba ablas,
Here I am once again to talk about AIM.

Love is never one: Yes we know this truth. Well personally it took me time to learn it but I am always slow to get things.  
The way we love and the way we live and express our  love doesn’t  fit into a specific  pattern.   And this movie is wonderfully portraying this important fact .  Love is an emotion  and consequently something hard to define then we measure it with actions:  What the other do for us to show us  how much they love us and what we do for them to show them how much we love them but the game isn’t that simple because there is also what we expect the others to do for us and vice versa.  And to make it more complicated there is our perception of all these actions we do in the name of love.

It’s takes pages and pages to talk about all the different ways we see people dealing with love in this dizi, receiving it and giving it and It’s so tricky to understand it   sometimes but  so realistic that I want to take a trip into it.

A lot of forms of Love are portrayed in the Dizi, involving adults and Kids in it. We can focus on different kind of filial Love- Adnan Bey and his kids, Fayrouz Hahem and her daughters, Jemila and her parents.  
We can   see different form of Romantic Love, Deniz’s  Loves for Adnan Bey, Adnan Bey loves for  Samar, Samar’s  Love for Adanan Bey, Cemila’s  love  for  Besir , Besir’s  love for  Nihal, Nihal’s  love for  Behlul…Other forms of love like the love of Behlul for his cousins, the love of Deniz for the kids she raised like her own kids and their love to her, the love that exist between the maids and the kids…I will look st some of them closer.

Deniz’s Love for Adnan is a ‘package’. Her feeling includes the whole family, father and kids are together in the picture. She loves Adnan bey the father as much as Adnan bey the man.  Adnan bey took what Deniz gave to them as a gift and never questioned himself why this woman spent the most beautiful years of her life being the mother substitute for his kids without never showing any sign of lassitude. The first time he talked about Deniz to Bihtar he said   (Episode 6, MBC4):  We are her second family, We love her very much and we need  her.  For him the equation is simple. They need her as much and she needs them.
They both had wounds to heal and they had the opportunity to help each other. She got the family she didn’t have and they got the mother substitute. Yes it’s a form of love. The form  of love based on the need we have of somebody.  That why Adnan bey didn’t need to find a mom for his kids and when one day,  he decided to move forward and look for a second opportunity in life closing the door to the past,  he didn’t include his kids in the big picture of  this change. For him, their life will continue the same way and only his life will change.  He was totally aware of his choice since in one of his discussion with Miss Deniz in the episode when she informed Nihal she was leaving,  he told her : now we need you more.

Adnan’s love for Bihtar is more tricky to understand. Adnan loved an image he had about Bihtar. He was aware their love had no foundations but he thought Bihtar is the right woman for him after years of suffering and she has the qualities to make their marriage a good and safe one. He though it had all the ingredients to see the real love happening  later between them. That why we heard him in Bolum 13 (MBC version) after they danced  the Tango before dinner saying:
Our life will be better, and everyday that passes we will get closer and closer… until we will become soul mates.
He exclusively,  talked about the love they will reach in the future, the one he wished for when he asked her to marry him.  That why I agree with you MiMi’cim and I found you described perfectly Adnan’ bey with your lines below.
Adnan bey is the one looking at the future, he is finally thinking forward to achieve something different in his life or change his destiny, the opportunity came to him and he took the advantage of it, it might not come again if he didn't move fast, he got the attention of the young lady who recently lost her father who meant the safe shelter for her and now she is so fragile yani a good catch, she is searching for her father's warm look in Adnan's eyes.

And now episode after episode we are seeing how he is discovering his big mistake about her. Well, he isn’t recognizing it as a mistake yet but it’s clear he is surprised to know her little by little. I had fun watching in some scenes Adnan bey’s facial expression looking at Bihtar and asking himself how he couldn’t see how much she is like  Fayrouz Hanem.

Bihtar’s love for Adnan is only based on the love of herself. Bihtar had several reasons to accept Adnan Bey as a husband but none of the reasons is love and that why she feels the need to repeat all the time how much she is in love with him. For bihtar love is a game to reach personal happiness and to flatter her ego. For her love is: Show me how much you love me and how much you do for me then I will do my best to be sweet and beautiful.  For her love is SAYING  ‘ I love you’ and ‘canim’.

Her reaction to Adnan bey when he talked about soul mates says it all. She was like ‘What is he talking  about?’. She was scared to know that  he wasn’t the kind man she can entertain with the superficial things of life to get the perfect life she dreams of as a selfish woman. And her plan to have him at her feet and to be the center of the world for him was for a moment shaked.
Sorry for being so long with my post,  I will stop here for today but please feel free to correct my perception about the characters or to add anything I omitted ..

 I will continue the second part in another post soon I hope. It’s interesting to talk about the youngest and the way they deal with love and what it means for them. Talk to you soon Inshallah.

Muchos Besos,

Your African sister zafiro

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